i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
