Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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