jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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