We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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