I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
