I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
