Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This baby is an asshole
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
