so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
