she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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