Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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