Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
