you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
