I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
