Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
