i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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