I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
