Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
