so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
