is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
