fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
