He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
