Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
