I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
