I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
