I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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