Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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