Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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