I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You were trust falling into bushes
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
