There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
either way he was missing a nipple.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
