thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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