Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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