if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
