so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize