Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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