just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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