This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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