Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
