My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
