I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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