this beer tastes like vomit already
Farmville is her only friend.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
