Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
