maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
