butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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