i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
