hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
