How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
