If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
