I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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