i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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