she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
honey bunches of taint.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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