He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
