And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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