doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
