apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
