i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
