it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
