remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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