May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
