No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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