I wanna bring you to show and tell
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
