My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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