Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize