idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
