I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
