Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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