I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
