My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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