i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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