i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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